Pastures New? Without the grey clouds though hopefully!
This time of year is a fraught one, frantic with the last few weeks of school and all that it entails! Add to that a phenomenal amount of Bavarian Bank holidays, and you find yourself studying the calendar and wondering how on earth you are going to fit everything in before the end of term!
Despite the fact that we are all looking forward to the summer holidays and the brilliant freedom that they bring, there’s something that doesn’t feel quite right, and will be at the forefront of many an Expat mind at this time of year. For alongside homesickness, bureaucracy, and the testing of your language skills – there’s something you can always guarantee in this transient life, and that’s farewells. No-one tends to put down roots anywhere for too long as a work Expat (unless you are married to a local of course!), and before you know it the boxes that you never did get around to unpacking are being loaded back onto a lorry once again.
This year a lot of friends will leave Munich and either go home, or move on to pastures new. And for those of us left behind, it leaves a strange mix of emotions. Jealousy at the thought that they get to return to what they love – or onto new, fresh and exciting places. Relief at the thought that it’s not our turn yet (and that those boxes can stay in the loft for the foreseeable!), and at times an almost overwhelming sadness at the goodbyes that are to come.
Friends are important when the majority of those that you love dwell in other countries. It doesn’t take too long to become close to those that know exactly what it is you are going through in a country that isn’t yours. Mutual wisdom, tips on the place that is temporarily home, shared gripes and experiences (both good and bad) quickly bond you together. And then before you realise where the time’s gone, these friends are packing up, and are ready to start the whole process over again. It’s a cycle that repeats itself for as long as you live this life too.
But there is one amazing thing about all of this… Yes, the goodbyes are an expatriate inevitability, but there’s also something else you can count on – a massive patchwork quilt of friends spread out across the globe. Now, whose first for visitors?
So, so true Emma. The friends we make, especially the fellow expats, are so important. So far, we’ve only ‘lost’ one of our group, but it is inevitable that it will happen again. I have made a lot of local friends too though, which cushions me a bit. Never easy to say goodbye though xx
(apologies for the horribly late #myexpatfamily comment, it’s been one of those months!)
They can become surrogate family can’t they? Thanks Sara, hope all is well x
“Friends are the family you choose” is so true when you are an ex-pat, so it is heartbreaking when they move away. I have sobbed for a whole week when three close friends all left in the same month. I’ve developed a thicker skin since, and like you, am grateful that I know have a vast network of friends all over the globe. Thank goodness for Skype and Facebook too! #myexpatfamily
Thank you… I always feel sorry for the “lifers” as I call them who have to go through the saying goodbye thing forever… It can be really difficult!
Great post. We are fairly new to the expat life, but have quickly realized the importance of new friends. Thank you for sharing
They can become family. Thanks Laura…
YES to all of this, but especially the end. “Who’s first for visitors” has been my mantra since I was a teenager, as I grew up in an environment where people came and went all the time, and now I’m continuing the expat lifestyle where my parents left off. It IS hard saying goodbye so often and I’m dreading leaving behind the friends we’ve made here in Italy, but I also feel incredibly fortunate that there are honestly very few places in the world where I wouldn’t have a friend’s sofa to crash on!
That really is the best bit isn’t it Eline? Good luck with your forthcoming move. I am sure you will love Sweden! I hope you like cardamom, it’s in a lot of stuff there! :D
You’d think that after years of practicing saying goodbye to people it would get easier, but it never does. I have a worldwide couch surfing trip to plan to see all my friends and family spread out around the globe!
That sounds like a great trip! Thanks Brittany! :)
A patchwork quilt of friends across the globe indeed! I love that! ;) Cheers, Nicole
Thanks Nicole! :)
Ahh this is a lovely post, and oh so true! We have been here three years almost now and have somehow managed to avoid our “closest” new friends leaving (for now) but I know it will be hard when they go. It’s amazing how quickly really strong friendships are formed in expat life!
You’re very right about the upsides of people leaving though too :)
Thanks so much for sharing this with #myexpatfamily I really enjoyed it! Hope to see you again next month :)
I can completely understand why the Seychelles must seem less transitory than a lot of other places, what a fantastic place to live! Thanks so much! :)
I never thought of that aspect of expat life but I guess on the plus side, when they move to pastures new, you get to go visit them in new countries.
You certainly do. Thank you! :)
You’ve totally got it right there. Now no longer an expat (ex expat) I remember those friends of yours that would come up to you and announce they were leaving and going home or onto another country and no matter how pleased for them you were, you also ached a little inside because you all just jelled (kids, Mums and Dads). Elinor x
It can be really unsettling can’t it? But it’s all part and parcel of this life.. Thanks Elinor! :) x
Fingers crossed that your newbies will be just as nice.
Thank you Cat! :)
A top post,
Thanks so much! :)
Oh, I know this. Friends left Zurich to head back to Texas, Belgium and the UK. It was so sad and also kind of got me wanting to head home to where things are a little more stable. But it’s so nice to have friends to meet up with all over the world, you’re right :-)
Always look on the bright side – if you can!! :D Thank you x
Sounds difficult and probably one of the hardest things about being an expat. But it also comes with so many wonderful experiences and good to also think about those at times like this:)
Yes, grateful for them. Not much point living this life otherwise! :D Thank you…
bittersweet is the word! I don’t know if I could ever move abroad – I’d miss my mum too much. But then again, having friends across the world must be amazing!
Thanks Steph. I miss my family so much, but thankfully I know this is not a life we have to live forever! :)
Oh I started to get excited then thinking that you were off again.I guess where you’re living now is a stone’s throw from lots of places that you haven’t visited yet.
One day Aly! :D Yes, plenty of places still to visit on our doorstep! Thank you! :)
I hadn’t thought about that side of being an expat – it must be bittersweet.
Thanks Rebecca… It can be! :)
And I can’t wait to read about those adventures too! Fascinating insight.into life as an expat :)
Thank you Penny! :) x
Ahhh, this is a lovely post, if a little bittersweet. It must be a very odd time of year for you, but thank goodness social media making it so much easier to keep in touch with those friends who spread out across the globe xx
Can you imagine the phone bills before then? Thank you Ruth xx
Friends sometimes can be more important than family, especially if you are separated from those family members. I like the idea of having friends all over the globe, the perfect way to travel and catch up with friends too
True that! Thank you :) x
Lovely post, Emma. It’s so true, we are losing a lot of good families this year!
Thanks Brooke, it’s a huge year isn’t it? :/
I have several online friends who are expats and these feelings seem very common. I hope things settle down and you enjoy your trips home and the future visits across the patchwork :-) xxx
Thank you. xx
Oh I’m really not sure I could handle making friends and then losing them all the time – although the advantage of a friendly welcome and a bed to sleep in all over the world does sound appealing!
It does have its advantages! Thanks Liz! :)
This is so true. Farewells are the bad part of expat life, I can’t seem to get used to saying goodbye, even though I thought it would get easier over time.
Funny isn’t it? There’s a long period of readjustment too where you keep forgetting that people aren’t around anymore! :D
When I think about the expat lifestyle I have to admit that saying goodbye was something that I hadn’t really thought about. Can understand how difficult it must be, but on the flip side I’m guessing you have friends all over the world now!
We do… Thanks Penny! :)
What a lovely post. My son went to an army school and we have had so many people come and go – but lifelong friendships formed. I thank social media for making contact so much easier to keep up too.
I am glad to hear that you have made so many good friends too.
Thank you. What would we do without social media? :)
It must be very bittersweet and a bit of a conveyor belt of friends coming and going. But at the same time I can imagine you become so adapted to change and new faces (which is a good thing) and as you say, you have friends all over the place now. How long do you think you’ll be in Germany for? X
Thanks Sadie… It is amazing how you adapt over time… Have no idea with regards to Germany, Mr R is on a local contract! Not forever and ever though… xx
I had never really thought about it that way but of course it must be really hard when people that you have grown close to keep leaving. I hope lots of love;y new folk will appear in their place though and add to your quilt x
Thank you XX
Με το πέρασμα των χρόνων και κατοικώντας μια ζωή στον ίδιο τόπο, καταλήγω ότι η ζωή θα είχε άλλο ενδιαφέρον αν κατά καιρούς μετακόμιζα από τόπο σε τόπο.
Εκείνο που με στεναχωρούσε πάντα ήταν να έρχονται και να φεύγουν τα αγαπημένα πρόσωπα, κυρίως το καλοκαίρι και εγώ να μένω πίσω ….
Οι αποχαιρετισμοί ήταν από πάντα μια ψυχοφθόρα διαδικασία!
Στην περίπτωση των εκπαιδευτικών σας λέω απλά ως μάνα,ότι μας έχουν μείνει ανεξίτηλα στο μυαλό ελάχιστοι δάσκαλοι,δύο ή τρεις, που έκαναν τόσο αξιόλογη δουλειά και θα τους θυμόμαστε πάντα!
Thank you Kalliope. Google translate helped me, but I completely agree with you about the teachers too… :)
Until we decided recently that we weren’t moving to Abruzzo, the friends thing was always on my mind – leaving the ones I have behind, would I make new ones, how would I cope? It is important in contributing to happiness in the place you live. It sounds like you are settled and have many friends though. I think being in Germany is part of that. I’m not sure it would have been the same in a rustic part of Italy.
I definitely have the school environment we are in to thank for that, we are pretty much in rustic Bavaria here, but we have been lucky. We have friendly generous neighbours, and a couple that like practising their English on us too! :D Thanks Louisa!
It must be a tough always having to say goodbye to people, but I love the idea of having friends all over the world. Mind you I’m such a home body, not such how I’d deal with it!
It’s something you kind of get used to, until the next time! Thanks Mary! :)
It must be very difficult! I am not brave enough, in my family I am the ex-pat, because I move a whole 25 miles away from my home town ;) Although that has its downsides, because I am close to home, it took me far longer to put down roots here as all my long standing friends etc were still close enough by to rely on, after ten years here, it is only in the last couple of years since having Syd that I have actually got round to making friends actually in the town I live, and it has been a really positive thing! I can imagine being so far from family and friends makes for some very quick bonding with others in a similar boat.
Thanks Sonya. It’s true, it doesn’t matter how far away you move, it can take a while to settle in! :) x
Totally. Absolutely. 100%. Spot on.
Thank you R! :)