Our relocation agent contacted us last week with a reminder that we had an appointment at the Doctor’s. We are not sick, but apparently she felt it would be a good idea to go along and meet him before we were. Having been exposed to a few segments of German life that are a lot more formal than in both of the previous countries we have lived in, I thought that this pre-visit to the doctors was something necessary, and agreed to it to get it out of the way.
I hate everything about visiting the Doctor, and try to stay healthy to avoid it, but yesterday we set off to the surgery with vaccination books in hand. Doctor’s receptionists are a special breed the world over aren’t they? I do wonder whether they undertake training in the art of brusqueness? She was probably wondering what an earth a fully grown woman with two children was doing being accompanied to the doctors by her relocation agent, and I have to say at that point, so was I.
All eyes were upon us when we walked into the waiting room, and there was an expectant silence, thankfully broken by M (relocation agent) who greeted each coughing and spluttering occupant with a hearty “Grüß Gott” (hello in these here parts!), and I stood looking like a twit thinking that if we weren’t sick before, we soon would be! The waiting room nodded and replied, whilst at the same time studying us intensely to try and work out what kind of species we were, and what ailments we were suffering from! I have observed this mass greeting on several occasions before here, when entering restaurants and the like. It is quite an alien concept coming from a country where we usually do our best to ignore each other!!
On the wall opposite was an abstract painting, a huge canvas where the artist had glued string in a pattern before getting rather carried away with purple and pink paint, giving it an altogether visceral air. I can’t blame The Small Boy for thinking that it was a painting of an operation, but managed to reassure him that we weren’t there for anything quite like that.
His mind was soon put at rest as it was then our turn to meet our new Doctor (who looked rather bemused at this group waiting to see him)! Thankfully he was a very pleasant and jolly chap, whose English is excellent. Both children later said he reminded them of Father Christmas, but without the beard. I might have to remind them of that one day.
A surreal visit, and one which has spurred me into getting real German lessons sorted once and for all so I can stop looking like a complete idiot in certain situations. Ich bin nicht krank – it’s a start isn’t it!?
So glad you are settling in and glad you have someone to hand hold in new situations! Really enjoyed reading this. My husband learnt only one phrase in German at school, Ich haber keiner bruder. Sooo very useful. I fared a bit better I’ve got a GCSE and I visited a friend in Munich lots.
Thanks AR! :) I wish I had done German at school instead of French!
This made me chuckle. I don’t get to see our surgery very much as I get home visits from Hubby but I rather like the idea of having some scary art on the wall. He does have a fab print we bought years ago showing cartoon-like patients queuing up for the GP. Over the years husband has been able to give them all names based on his regulars. None of them were ‘legs akimbo’ in the painting, you’ll be pleased to know.
Love the idea of having a resident Doctor, how handy!! The picture sounds brilliant, it’s great they all have names (glad none of them are legs akimbo though!) :) xx
Lol! Well that is an experience! Definitely need to crack on with the German! The grammar is difficult for some but I adore it (been a while since I used it though!)
Thanks Mrs T! I am on the case sorting lessons as we speak! :)
a relocation agent who takes you to the doctor – now that’s a first! hilarious post, emma! i’d like to see one of those mass greetings :)
Thanks Pia! Nothing is ever normal in my life it seems! :)
How I love the mass greeting. Same here in India. There are a lot of people here., I guess…feeling very fortunate at the lovely English spoken here – and a timely reminder to make sure we’re sorted medically – thanks!
Thanks Menai! Wow, very jealous of you in India! Hoping to visit for a holiday at some point in the near future! Re. the reminder – Happy to be of service :)
I always maintain that Hospitals and Doctor’s surgeries are no places fro sick people!! You go with one thing and come away with something else! german’s seem quite efficient though, unsurprisingly!
BTW….I’ve tagged you with a little award over on mine ;-)
xx Jazzy
Exactly Jazzy! That’s so true! Thank you very much, will pop over to yours! Emma :) xxx
I still don’t have a doctor… whoops. I have, however, visited a knee specialist, a dermatologist (having never done so in England, but it costs 8€ round this way for an annual mole checkup: amazing) and the legs-akimbo-lady (as she shall henceforth be known) and found that apologising politely for the state of my German at the start of each appointment spurred each of them to commence speaking varying levels of English at me, all of which were preferable to doing the whole thing in German. But then the legs-akimbo-lady asked me whereabouts in the Netherlands I came from, so it seems my English is almost as bad as my German.
That really made me laugh… In Denmark they always thought I was Danish and here it seems they think I am German, until I open my mouth!! Good to know about the mole check up too! Emma :) PS. If you need my relocation agent to find you one and then come with you, let me know!
lol!I love your post! It’s a good thing he speaks english and that you met him before you have a problem. When I got sick my husband had to take to the Dr and do all the translating for me of my embarrassing ‘lady’prblem! Yes, get thos German lessons going and you will feel worlds better about! :-) Welldone! Sorry I can’t see to go back and fix my spelling in this comment box.
It was embarrassing enough with our relocation agent. I am sure the Doctor thought I was there with my mum at first! I am going to get lessons sorted this week, promise! ps. don’t worry about the spelling! :)
Oh sounds like your embarking on a grand adventure. Did the relocation lady escort you to make sure you went or was it an act of kindness?
Thanks Helen! Bit of both I think! :)
Your post has just reminded me that i need to book appointments for us.. Apparently we need to see the nurse (for a full going over at cost of course) before we can even get to se the doctor… What a nice welcome home that is…
Good to see that things are going smoothly for you… xx
How annoying, even more so that you have to pay! How are things with you? xxx
You are brave! I’d be rubbish in that situation. Nice to have a Father Christmas like doctor though. xx
I am rubbish in these situations! :) xx
Please learn to speak German before your first ‘legs akimbo’ test with the nurse. I bet her English won’t be as good as the doctors and getting the phrasing wrong at the crucial moment could be fatal. How wrong could you say “my word that speculum is jolly cold” ?!!!
Good point!!! :O
Oh, this was hilarious!
Thankfully most doctors here speak very good English (on my scale, at least).
Thanks Frau Welle! It was quite funny, just not at the time :)