Revisiting Repatriation

So as we prepare to move to a new area, our own house (just typing that feels odd!), and a new slightly more settled chapter (perhaps!!), I find myself constantly thinking about the weirdness that is repatriating – possibly as I have a trip to my other “home” planned this weekend.

In my original 12 Tips for a Successful Repatriation post I did say it would be an ever-evolving list didn’t I?   You can’t/don’t just move back like you didn’t ever go away in the first place sadly…

I have written this post according to our experiences, and how life has changed for us since coming back.  Hopefully those of you going through/about to go through the same thing will recognise a few feelings, and can maybe take something from it…

• Great for keeping in touch with Expat Friends, the downside of Social Media has to be things like “OnThisDay” and “Time Hop”, slapping you in the face with memories of what you were doing this time a year ago and beyond.   As you deal with “normal” everyday life back in your home country, who wants to be constantly reminded of the halcyon (possibly rose tinted) more exciting days of your old life?  Whilst these sorts of apps can obviously bring happy memories too, on the days that I know they will make me sad (or cross or one of the two!) I don’t look at them…
• You come to terms with the realisation (despite often thinking the opposite while abroad) that your own country isn’t always better.   It might contain more of the people you love, but if I could give you a Euro for each time I thought to myself “if I was in the UK, this or that would be so much easier”, well you would be richer, and I should just kick myself for thinking it.    And don’t even talk to me about the UK house buying process.  Seriously.
• It’s OK to still celebrate the festivals of your adopted countries now you are back.   They were a big part of your life for a long time, and anyway, who’s going to give up having things like two Mother’s Days?
• Friends and family think that you must be “over the moon to be back and settled”, they can’t be expected to understand why a lot of the time you can’t and won’t agree with that…
• All those hours of language lessons (and the often weird experiences that went with them) were worth it for one thing – being able to effectively use another language privately with your kids when needs be.   This is as good a reason as any to study hard when you arrive in any new country, believe me.
• At this time of year you really don’t envy your friends still living in your “old country” when it comes to the summer turn around, and good friends moving on to pastures new…  It’s a truly heart breaking process saying goodbye to those that become your overseas family.  That is something I really don’t miss.
• You love meeting other people who have also lived overseas, and/or those that are temporarily in your home country too as you automatically find common ground…
• You don’t feel all that English, or patriotic.  Family and friends won’t understand this.     At other times you will feel overly loyal and patriotic.  Repatriation makes you fickle in more ways than one and it’s all totally normal.
• You still look at things in the infrastructure of your home country with new and probably critical eyes.   Certain aspects of stuff like Health and Safety you now consider ridiculous having enjoyed life where you are allowed to make your own decisions about whether something pretty mundane is safe or not…
• Shopping is still a novelty (I still enjoy the £10 M&S Deal!) and being able to buy a much larger range of food hasn’t gotten old yet.   Having said that, having been used to a much more limited range, I find myself automatically searching out seasonal and local produce which is a good for many reasons, but mostly because it tastes better.
• Being able to complain about something in your native language is brilliant.   It’s so nice to try and resolve things without the other person suddenly using uber complicated words that you have no chance of understanding, and making you sound like a complete twit.    Language limitations are another good reason to keep up with the lessons and up your lingots in Duo Lingo!
• Having probably put on around 15 stone in weight thanks to over indulging in lots of foods you missed while you were away, you find yourself pining for lots of things you would have laughed at the thought of missing a little over a year ago.   Sauerkraut in my case for example, and pretzels (that’s not so hard to understand) – Waitrose yours are better than nothing, but they aren’t anything like the real thing).   You also find yourself missing non-food related things like a general lack of litter, smooth beautiful fast roads (without giant potholes) and Bank Holidays (they have 13 in Bavaria!)…
• You wonder how you never noticed before how little your fellow countrymen wear at the first sight of sun.  Danes and Bavarians don’t tend to walk around without tops on unless on the beach (where there’s a possible chance they don’t wear any bottoms either – you have been warned!!)…
• Having been deprived of decent tea for many years, you become almost Japanese about the whole thing, taking time out to appreciate the making and drinking of a decent cup as befits the English Stereotype, whilst being thankful that you won’t have to endure the wrath of the German school cafeteria lady who took great delight in making tea that could easily pass for a cappuccino with a big mound of frothy milk and everything.
• Even though you have lived out of the country for a long time, you will always be English enough to be weather obsessed.
• You still miss being able to drive across borders in a couple of hours to explore Europe and beyond…  It’s been quite the adjustment knowing that we are back on an island again.
• You feel slightly heartbroken that your youngest won’t experience the same level of globetrotting or “internationality” that his siblings did at his age, but you console yourself with the fact that he should experience some of it in the future.
• Rare meals out with your other half inevitably involve the expat topic and when/where you could/should move to next, and where you possibly couldn’t live.  Every single time.
• Even after a year your TCK children will still find endless English things odd like “salad cream” (not cream) Jaffa Cakes (not cakes apparently).   I find myself shocked by the things and people (Robin Hood for example) they don’t know, and the words they get confused by (one of them recently thought the full term for Budgie (as in the feathered variety) was Budgearea?!    I constantly need to remind myself that they have lived more outside of the UK than in it!

And as you re adapt, which you will, you slowly come to terms with the fact that life will never ever be the same again, and neither would you really want it to be…

Now if you’ll excuse me I have a plane to catch. Next stop Munich.